Irrational belief in a creative God
D September 8th, 2009
I was recently asked what I thought the next phase of belief for the post-fundamentalist Christian would be. My simplest answer being to walk away in disgust and declare themselves agnostic after witnessing the various abuses of God first hand. The more complex being to take the best parts of their experience and reconcile them with a more rational understanding of the world.
And here I am, actively choosing to not walk away, for various purposeful reasons:
- If my perceptions are correct (and truly, that is all we have) I have experienced the influence of God, not necessarily ‘talking’ to me, but certainly directing me (only twice, and it had to do with pursuing after my wife, and having a child… no small things)
- Christ was on to something. I can’t *prove* he was God, but I will make that leap of faith for someone who just *got it*. Again, choosing to believe in him. And yes, the bible is fallible, so the gospels might not be perfect. But the spirit of Christ is in there, and that’s what I’m following.
- Do you remember the fundamentalist ‘tactic’ Christians could use for helping non-Christians understand the concept of God where:
“Let’s say this whole chalk board is all knowledge possible. Now lets assume that this dot is the knowledge that you possess. Don’t you think you could have missed the knowledge of God’s existence?”
The irony of this tactic is that the reverse is true:
“Don’t you, Sir Christian, think you could have missed the knowledge that God doesn’t exist/doesn’t care?”
And beyond that I realized that both are true: I just CAN’T know either way. My little febrile mind, and my limited capacity to understand all knowledge, space/time etc etc. It is beyond human grasp.
So I’ve reduced it to my experiences and a logic problem:
I’m relying on the infinite power and wisdom of God to catch my ultimate fall into the (possibility) of hell. I’m doing my best to understand something completely not understandable, and if I’m right and he exists, and he acknowledges my efforts, he may accept me. To follow the structure of that belief: he created me with the limited intelligence and capacity to understand him, so I rely on the fact that he knows I’m inherently flawed.
If I’m wrong, and somehow picked the wrong path, or God turns out to be a lot more diabolical that I hope him to be… well, its a Shakespearean tragedy at that point.
Or, it could be a gigantic cosmic joke. But that’s more Douglas Adams’ territory.
Essentially I’m a discriminating pluralist who is a Christian. There’s no way I can know with certainty that Christianity is ‘the one-truth’. I’ve chosen to believe it because of my upbringing, personal experiences (‘Holy Spirit’ if you will) and the fact that Christ makes the most sense to me.
I irrationally believe in a God who threw this all together, and is watching us tear it apart.
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Interesting thoughts, D. Appreciate the candor. Have thought the same quite often recently. I have just started reading through this blog again and the thought came to me – I wonder how many people that we know (or perhaps shared fundamentalist upbringings with!) are thinking the same thoughts? How often do people – friends, even, have these discussions with one another? Thanks for sharing.